Recently I had a conversation with a woman whom I’d known thru social media and a few events we’d mutually attended. I invited her to lunch on day two of the event we’d both attended. I had not had the time, nor made the time before that, to get to know her very well and was happy when she said yes. We shared some things about ourselves and our lives and experienced several aha’s about relationships, work, dreams, and so much more.
After lunch, as we were walking back to the conference room, she said to me, “I have to confess, I didn’t like you when I met you but I’m glad I got to know you a little more today and I hope we can continue our conversations.”
While I knew we weren’t besties, I didn’t realize that her initial response was she didn’t like me. So, I asked why? What made you feel that way?
She said, “you looked like one of those people who had their shit together, and it annoyed me.”
Funny, I’ve so struggled with self-confidence, having my “shit” together, and being accepted for so long that I didn’t realize that I gave off a vibe to her like that.
As we chatted more about it over the day and the next, we began to see really and truly how much we had in common and how much we enjoyed each other’s company, and I left looking forward to the next time we could hang out together.
Today as I write this blog post, I must confess that I, too, struggle with this. There have been more times than I care to admit that I’ve decided on someone without fully getting to know them. Judging them for something that they don’t even mean to project triggers something in me that clearly, I need to work on more.
I confess when I met this person a year ago, I’m referring to in this blog post, I wasn’t sure that I could find a connection with her that would allow us both to have meaningful conversations. Initially, she reminded me of someone in my past, and it triggered something in me I’ve been working on. Honestly, I felt bad for that, I am really in a place now in my life where I want people to reveal to me who they really are on a soul/spiritual level, not what they look like or the work they do, or anything else that makes us judge others.
Today as I reflect on this, I am extremely grateful that I had this experience, that I asked her to lunch, so she could allow me to see the amazing person she truly is. Over the years, I’ve realized that it takes time to get to know people, and I must do my best to be present, without judgment, when I’m meeting and getting to know others.
As I walk this path of life, I aspire to see people for the beautiful souls they are and not to be triggered by something they do that brings up something in me that needs healing. I am working on appreciating the differences that we have and the things that we share in common.
I’m not perfect, and only share this with you here to remind myself and perhaps inspire you as well to not make decisions about liking or not liking someone until they’ve had a chance to truly show you their soul. Be patient; it may take time.
Here’s to beautiful friendships, passionate romances, and loads of fun along this journey we call life.